TheKayakMom isn't just some moniker I pulled out of the air. Of course I paddle, and I'm a mom. But I've said before that I started paddling back when my son was involved in the program. I've been learning lately that I kind of bungled his exit from the sport. I can't change that, but maybe I can help you not make the same mistake.
My son started paddling in middle school, and because of overlapping practice times, he quit football because he couldn't do both. I remember it was a really painful decision for him, but he went on to paddle and had some really good times, got into great shape, made some great friends, and went to some interesting places. I know he really loved football, but he wasn't a starter, so I was happy to see him go into kayaking both from a safety standpoint and because he enjoyed it.
Things went well for a number of years, until THE injury. I don't know how much I've mentioned this, but his ankle was broken in two places just prior to Jr World trials, and he was never really the same. I think this is where my epic fail begins. I wanted him to stay in the sport, because it had done such great things for him. I saw that it was painful for him, because he wasn't able to compete with the guys he could before. He would drive to practice and sleep in the car, and I would yell at him.
I was so wrong. Years later we talk about this, and I know that I should let him just drop out when he wanted to. He never really wanted to disappoint me, and I did him a disservice by making him go. I'm so sorry son. I was selfish, I guess. I didn't want to leave the club, so I wouldn't let you.
Thank goodness you had a coach with enough wisdom to get you to come to me and tell me that. I need to thank that coach for doing that. I found the strength to create my own space with the club, my own identity.
So, what lesson is there here?
Well, listen to your kids. If there is pain, it is your job as a parent to help your child navigate through it, not add to it. I regret not listening sooner, but I will never make the mistake again.
Love you son. And, I'm sorry.
TKM
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